02/10/2016

HOW TO : DEAL WITH PSYCHO ROOMMATE



*Key* Psycho = Revengeful + Bitter + Immature





Hey Zengarmy,


[ Disclaimer : This post contains an abundance of vulgarity.
Reader's discretion is advised. Proceed at your own risk. ]


This post has been sitting in my blog archive for nearly a month.
I've been writing and rewriting this post for so many times just to
make sure that I've included all of the possible details & evidences
that I've managed to garner. So, yeah, what you're currently reading
NOW literally took me over a MONTH'S time to curate & complete!
Now, if you are an OG (Original Gangster) Zengarmy, you'd have
already knew that I always draw the bad lot when it comes to
the "roommate department". Back in the August of last year,
I wrote a blog post entitled "The Rule Of Shutting Up", which,
if you haven't read that post yet, I would strongly suggest you
to go check that post out because this post is a sequel to that.



Wow. I'm so fancy now that I have
a prequel & sequel to my life drama.



▲ I got a new haircut by the way, oh hello!



In that previous post, I talked about how "hygienic" and "friendly"
my then-roommates-and-housemates were (they've moved out).
Little did I know, the "new roommate" I was defending then is now
THE CRAZIEST, MOST REVENGEFUL, BITTER & IMMATURE ROOMMATE.
Like, seriously a hundred times more extreme than what I'd expect a
psycho roommate to be like. This motherfucker took it to the next level.



Of course, if you're a loyal reader, you'll know that I don't usually disclose
other people's personal information when I'm having a rant on my blog, but
THIS GUY THO? I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to break my rules for once.
Still, I wouldn't blatantly call out his full name or insert his picture on my
blog because (hello?) why would I contaminate my blog feed with his stuff?



I'll use the initial "D" (stands for dickhead) to address him in this post,
but if you're really curious about how he looks like and what's his name,
please DON'T GO TO HIS FACEBOOK PROFILE or CLICK THIS LINK to look
at his overly edited selfie that you might not get a chance to see (if he ever
decides to deactivate his Facebook account once he saw this post by chance).



Okay, hold up, I know what most of you guys might be thinking right now.
Zeng Teck, why are you such an immature bitch? What did he ever do to you?
As a half-public figure you have the responsibility to think twice before you go
and attack somebody online...... and blah blah blah blah. TRUST ME, I've been
"thinking more than twice" for the past few weeks and this post is an agreement
between my rationale and impulse. So just sit back, relax, and take a chill pill
while I describe to you how far and beyond he went for his "revenge plan" and
how chill and indifferent I reacted to his "revenge plan". Ready, set, go......






Alright. Let's start off with a little bit of backstory to this drama
( and by "a little bit" I mean "a lot" ). So, when D just moved into
the hostel last August, I met with his guardian and was told about
his family background, which, I totally empathized with and had
shown no disrespect in any kinds of forms to him with regards to
his family background. and I were in the same intake under the
same Lancaster University but different programme (he is taking
a diploma in hospitality while I'm taking a degree in psychology).



I talked a lot with him at our first encounter. I told him that I was
not on very good terms with my then-housemates, and that I have
literally zero tolerance when it comes to NOISES AT LATE NIGHT that
came from my then-housemates who ENJOYS having late night chats.



( Take note of this. You might need this information later. )



We really hit it off the first time we met. I even volunteered to show him
around the campus and later found out that he's already had a few close
acquaintances in the campus even before his diploma. So I was like, okay,
since he's already had a network of friends then there's no need for me to
热脸贴冷屁股 (try too hard to be too close with him) lah because I myself
was also at the initial phase of just starting my degree life and just getting
used to the new pressure. As the time went by, we hardly had any chance
to talk to each other because of the difference in our class schedules and
my preference of staying at the campus (for wifi, of course) after my class.



So, needless to say, after this went on for a few weeks, became closer to
my then-housemates, which I have zero objection to because (1) he has his
own choice and I'm in no position to object, and (2) he needs somebody to
talk to, which is definitely not me because I enjoy my alone time SO much.



Months had passed by since then and things were still cool between me and D,
until something (which I think is the trigger to our horrendous roommate-ship)
finally happened. Now, I wouldn't label myself as a completely innocent good
guy in this drama because I too, was at fault at some point. So, the trigger
happened when I was in my late first semester during my final exam period.
If you're a student yourself, you'll know that every final exam period is the
MOST STRESSFUL PERIOD for everybody and burning the midnight oil is an
inevitable choice during this period. So I was up until late night A LOT during
that period of time, which means leaving the lights on very frequently because
I NEED LIGHTS TO STUDY. And was very unimpressed by that. Not trying to be
stereotypical here but the diploma he's studying doesn't really seem to require
him to do too much reading. So he was constantly on his phone chatting with his
girlfriend while I was on my revision. Not only that, he literally expressed his sheer
annoyance by throwing glances at me every now and then, informing me that I was
"disturbing his precious sleep". Thinking back right now, I should've just told him that
I was under immense pressure and then asked for his empathy and what not but blah
blah blah, it was all water under the bridge now and I blame myself for that hahahah.



I paid little attention (actually, zero attention) to and continued my way because
my priority was solely on my exams and NOT on whether he's annoyed with me or not
(which I think is TOTALLY normal because it would be SO strange if I cared more about
him than my exams). Up until this point, I wouldn't say we have bad blood but we're
definitely not on good terms with each other anymore — which is fine to me anyway.



And then, another 2 more semesters went off unnoticed.



As of lately, now that I'm in my fourth semester (time flies!), I've been spending a lot
of time in the campus rather than in my hostel because of the amount of workload &
pressure coming from all the assignments and what not — CAN YOU BELIEVE I'M TAKING
5 SUBJECTS THIS SEMESTER?! 5 FREAKING CORE PSYCHOLOGY SUBJECTS! And guess what?



D decided that "okay, now is the time
for me to execute my revenge plan!"
— which, is a complete child play,
you'll know why later in this post.






[ Level 1 ]
Turning lights on, when I'm asleep.



started his revenge plan by imitating what I did to him and letting me
tasting my own medicine, which I think is fair enough. I'm totally okay with it.
I understand where he came from and I let him vent his frustration all he wanted.
Not gonna lie, I was quite pissed at first and often went on multiple rant sessions
on my Snapchat but it was all within my tolerance to bullshit. I totally deserve it.
And so I went to Daiso (a place for all the cheapos like me hehe) and bought a RM5
sleep mask to shield myself from this level 1 bullshit. knew this & wasn't very
happy with the fact that his level 1 revenge plan is failing without even hurting
me at the slightest and causing a rampage from me. And so he went on level 2.



[ Level 2 ]
Hiding my sleep mask, like an idiot.



What proceeds to do still confounds me up until today. You might be wondering:
"how on earth did he hide your sleep mask are you sure you're not hallucinating?"
But girl wait until you hear my elaboration on what happened! So, after buying
the sleep mask from Daiso, I saw the instructions on the package that recommend
freezing the sleep mask, so that it can work as an eye depuffer at the same time
— which is COMPLETELY BRILLIANT! And so I tried it one night and woke up feeling
great. I put my sleep mask in the freezer section which NOBODY has ever used
before, to make sure that nobody touches my sleep mask. But something strange
happened on the next day. When I reached for my sleep mask in the freezer section,
it was nowhere to be found! My first reaction was "is it ghost?". I was flabbergasted!



And so I searched frantically for the sleep mask and finally found it in the cooler
section of the refrigerator. I wasn't annoyed at all at this point. I was relieved to
be able to find my sleep mask and thought that "maybe it was the other housemate
who happened to accidentally see my sleep mask in the freezer section and decided
to put it back into the cooler section, purely out of concern". So, on the next day,
I decided to put my sleep mask in the cooler section so that nobody would ever
misplace my sleep mask AGAIN. And guess what? On the second night when I was
going to reach for my sleep mask from the cooler section, IT WAS GONE! AGAIN!
At this point I was extremely annoyed, but I decided to do an experiment with
whoever-the-fuck that was playing the game, by keeping completely quiet and
acted like I was a complete idiot who have no idea that I was fucking pranked.



It was a simple experiment. I placed the sleep mask alternatively in both the cooler
and freezer section EVERYDAY and observed if the sleep mask was being misplaced
EVERY SINGLE TIME. The result was as expected. Somebody was pranking me and
was enjoying the process with all his heart. Up until this point I was already aware
of the culprit behind this prank — which is DI don't understand why on earth does
this motherfucker think that hiding people's sleep mask is a normal thing to do, but
he certainly got me on my nerves this time. I was beyond annoyed when I found out
that it was him who hid my sleep mask repeatedly and not the ghost. But I played it
cool. I didn't confront face to face because I knew this kind of people far too well.



is obviously an insecure attention seeker who feeds on other people's attention.
If I confronted him face to face, HE WINS. And oh boy oh boy, I'm not going to let that
motherfucker-son-of-bitch win. I'm going to play his revenge game with him instead.
And so I wrote a simple neutral-toned sticky note that says something along the line
of "this sleep mask does not need to be moved. do not touch my stuff. thank you."
and pasted that onto my sleep mask when I placed it in the cooler section, just to
make sure that will see my message and quit being a failed prankster, forever.



And my sleep mask has never been misplaced ever since then.



[ Level 3 ]
Watching videos without plugging
in earphones, while I'm sleeping.



If you think is going to just let it go, you're wrong. He came up with a new
level 3 revenge plan VERY SOON after his level 2 revenge plan was returned
like a spoiled milk to the grocery store by me. This time, he chose to attack
me at my Achilles' heel — my weakest point. Now, remember when I told you
to take note at some point earlier in this post? That is to tell you how BITTER
he is as a person to attack another person's weakness despite being told not to.



At first he tried to do it very unnoticeably. For example, he would watch a
wrestling video (yes, you didn't hear it wrong) at late night for about 15 minutes
without plugging in earphones at all. At this point I tried to tolerate with him.
I was thinking "okay maybe he's just too lazy to grab his earphones", which,
let's all be real, WE ALL HAD THAT LAZY MOMENT. But after noticing the lack
of response from me, decided to 火力全开 (turn on the turbo) and go at his
full force to irritate me. He would watch wrestling videos, singing videos, and
even anime videos (can you even believe this fuckboy!) for hours and hours,
without any intention to lower down the volume. He is requesting for a war!






This situation went on for weeks (may be even months, I don't know)
and it got to a point where I only had 4 hours of sleep per night because
of his persistence on his level 3 revenge plan and my zero tolerance to
noises at late night. And so at one night, he got me, I totally snapped.
I vaguely remember it was around 2 a.m. and I gently pulled out my
smartphone and set my Twenty One Pilot playlist on repeat with an
1-hour-auto-off setting (means that the music will be automatically
shut off once it reaches 1 hour). I was completely filled with joy and
satisfaction once I pressed that play button and increased the volume
to the maximum level. HE WAS SOOO FUCKING PISSED :) And there I was,
laying down on my comfy bed enjoying my boy's music, without earphones.



Bitch, if I wasn't going to fall asleep,
I won't let you fall asleep either ;)



I should've recorded the situation that night because it was too funny not to hahaha!
I didn't manage to see his expression when he's tasting his own medicine (hello karma)
but I can sense that he was like "oh shit I'm under attack". He was flustered hahaha!
And can you guess what that bitch did? He freaking switched on his hair dryer (wtf)
trying to add onto the noise pollution party happening in the room! What an idiot?



I went to sleep with a big smile on my face that night.



[ Level 4 ]
Writing threatening notes to me.
(which is really super funny, to be honest)



Yeap, is still trying hard to revive his revenge plan.






PS : I'm the one who wrote in red.



I literally laughed my ass out when I saw this threatening note, which
I assumed was being pasted by D the next morning after the noise party,
because I only saw this post when I returned to my hostel later that night.
And I was like "HOW DARE A PERSON WHO TOUCHES MY STUFF ASKED ME TO
NOT TO TOUCH HIS STUFF? IS HE AN IDIOT?? OR DOES HE HAVE AMNESIA???"
The funniest part of the note is the cute little middle finger sign he drew
hahahahahah why did he still put the word "thank you" when he wanted to
point his fucking middle finger at me? Make up your mind lah please pussy!



This guy's face is thicker than
an elephant's skull. I can't.
#翻白眼翻到整个停不下来






Just in case you're reading this on your phone and you can't read
what I've replied to on his threatening note, here's what I've written:



Nice try bro! The drawing can be improved :)

The pot calling the kettle black? Huhu

LOL. Noted ;) Speaking of the devil itself who
hides away ppl's eyemask for "FUN". (gotcha!)
Thank you so much for the notice. Have a great day!
Yours truly.

( PS : try using EARPHONES to watch videos at late night.
It's more efficient. They're invented for a REASON. )

PPS : You're not the only one who's paying the rent for this house.
Just so you know.



#RoastMissionAccomplished







[ Level 5 ]
Leaving hate comments on my
YouTube videos, thinking that
I didn't know it was his friends.



Just as I think this motherfucker has ran out of ideas...











I felt really puzzled when I saw this comment by "Enn", due to 2 simple reasons :
(1) I haven't posted any new videos on my YouTube channel in over a month's time,
so HOW ON EARTH did this girl find my video which has merely over 100 views?
(2) I haven't promoted my videos and YouTube channel for over a month, so HOW
ON EARTH did this girl find my video which has merely over 100 views & even
bother to leave a hate comment on my video when I'm a complete stranger to
her? Logically, would you leave a comment on a boy's video with ONLY 100 views
and tell him that he should pack his stuff and get out of YouTube because he sucks?



Oh wait. UNLESS she was instructed
by SOMEONE to do so, I wonder who?



And so I decided to not reply to her comment and waited.
In another hour's time, 2 more MEANER comments flew in.






(LOL at the second hate comment. That bitch still got mood to put emoji haha!)
I don't know about you guys, but these comments really looked super sketchy to me.
I'm not saying that my covers are perfect or what. I'm not perfect. But for complete
strangers to REALLY HATE my videos & leave comments THAT HATEFUL on my videos?
This is beyond my comprehension. And I'm not going to sweep all these under the
carpet and call it a day. So I went to Grace Ku's Google profile and realized that
she matched EXACTLY what an online hater looks like — no extra info other than
gender (lol). But I did find something more precious on Enn's Google profile
the link to her YouTube channel (she has already deactivated her YouTube
channel now, by the way, so don't bother to click on the link if you're lazy.)
Other than that, I also noticed something sneaky happening to Enn's account
during the course of my investigation. She sneakily changed her account's
name to Chew Yi Enn, a day after posting her hate comment on my video.






Wait why is this bitch changing her name?
Is she trying to hide something or......
is she making everything more obvious?



And so I reluctantly went on to D's Facebook profile to check on
his relationship status and ended up finding something shocking:






Wait wait wait... So Enn / Chew Yi Enn
is D's "sister"??? What about Grace Ku?



Upon collecting so many evidences, it suddenly came to my mind
that Grace Ku might be an accomplice with D and Chew Yi Enn.
And bless my memory, because I clearly remember that every
time when D is on his phone with his girlfriend, he called her
by her name 古洁恩 very often. For those of you guys who
don't read Chinese, 古洁恩 means Ku Jie En in English.






Okay wait. Let me get this clear.
So Enn is D's sister & Grace Ku is
D's girlfriend?? And D was HIDING
BEHIND his sister's and girlfriend's
ASS all this while? Is he still a man?



Oh I forgot. He's a pussy :)



One thing that I MUST give praise for Enn and Grace Ku is their persistence
in helping their brother/boyfriend to attack his YouTuber roommate. Wow.
Look at the amount of dislikes hahahhaahah, little did they know, views are
the most important thing when it comes to earning revenue on YouTube,
not the amount of likes or dislikes. So, please do your HOMEWORK, haters.






Sadly, level 5 revenge plan is the last one that D managed to come up with, for now.






If you're expecting another 5 more levels of revenge plan from me,
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but all I did was reporting to the admin.
The last thing that I wanted to do is to give him anymore attention.
However, one thing worth highlight here is that when I was reporting
to the admin, they seemed to be very surprised because apparently
D was in their good book all the time (he's even the vice president of
the hostel's student club, which is completely shocking to me hahah).
Good luck to your good image tho, D, good luck holding onto them.
Within less than 24 hours after I've reported the drama to the admin,
became a completely changed human being. Here's what he did to
secure his precious good image (which I doubt there's still any left) :






Do you wanna be my best bruh??!!
FOR MY BEST BRUH ONLY?????!!!!!
Err... What the actual fuck? Don't
make me puke lah please hahaha!



Seriously? Bruh? Give this man a freaking Oscar please hahhahahahha!
Such a WASTE that he's not studying Performing Arts because his acting
is FUCKING GOLDEN! I bet he could beat Leonardo Dicaprio next time :)






#SweetRevenge #SorryNotSorry



That will be all for now. I shall update you guys if he ever decides to
come up with a level 6 revenge plan. But for now, we're currently
living in peace after I've reported all the drama to the admin ;)
If you've managed to read ALL THE WAY up until the very end,
comment "I love pineapple" down below to confuse the others!



I shall see you in my next post soon!



 UPDATE : PSYCHO ROOMMATE STRIKES AGAIN! (WITH LIVE FOOTAGE) 









        
(CLICK TO FOLLOW ALONG & STAY UPDATED)

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