Hey Zengarmy,

You know that feeling when you checked your latest blog entry
and realized you're being a dramatic little bitch? Yea that's ME,
but oh well, what's new? Before I proceed I think it's only fitting
if I update you guys a little bit on what has happened in my real
life recently (I know some of you who read my blog knew me in
real life but haven't kept in touch with me for so long, so this
one's for you) — I just finished my sophomore year in university
and am now heading towards the final year gakghwlkahsjdglgj!!

( PS: don't even bother to spot me. I looked busted AF. )

▲ We took this group photo the moment
the exam was finished and I'm surprised
more than half of us are actually awake.

I just finished my last paper for my last semester for sophomore year today
and now everything I see is in cotton-candy colourmy depression is cured,
my acne is cleared, & I'm already passing my next school year — I'm a free man!
I guess I didn't realize how stressful sophomore year can be, until I find myself
completely shutting myself down from the internet & gained a peace of mind
by doing so. Adulthood seemed to be hitting at me at its full force right now.
By the end of next year  on the same day as today — I would have already
completed my 3-months internship, handed in my final year thesis, & sat for
my last exam. That's the end of it all. And I'm so sad to say goodbye to it.
What is next? I'm feeling anxious and excited about it at the same time.

There will be moments in your life when you'll want time to slow down so that
you can have a one last look at the things that once mattered to you, and I feel
like I'm experiencing that right now. Is this what adulthood feels like? I'm slowly
waving goodbye at my old self and I wasn't sure if I'm ready to do that — it feels
like I'm losing a part of myself. The last month had witnessed a massive growth
in me, in terms of saying goodbye to people and things that once mattered to
me but not anymore. People who promised they will stay but left in the end.
Things that once fulfilled you but are now sucking the life out of you & making
you suffocated. I decided I've had enough of all this bullshit. Fuck this bullshit.

During the period of 21 days of digital detox, I've had a chance to be
introspective with myself again. I used to do that a lot before I even
started blogging and I forgot how fulfilling it made me feel until I got
back into that introspective state of mind recently. It feels liberating
to have a life where you keep things exclusive to only a small circle of
people who genuinely cares & matters to you. You do not need people
who do not need you, that's a life motto I swear by now. I've cut down
a lot of people from my life and by doing so — I have never felt better.

Some people reading this might
be like "why the fuck is this bitch
wailing please grow the fuck up",
but for somebody who feels a lot
& has a hard time saying goodbye,
I'm currently at my best & I don't
need no fucking bitches trying to
point fingers at me. You can try.

A post shared by ZENG TECK 🔥 センテック (@zengteck) on

Thanks to those who stayed around, and no thanks to those who left (bye).
Another chapter is on the edge of opening for me, and I'm ever so slightly
unsure but excited about it. Quite a few of my once-close friends have
already started working full-time now, and I just can't comprehend it
— I can still remember when we were all sitting together in the high
school library trying to figure out our future, this thing called "life".

Where has the time gone?
Perhaps, it's gone for good.



  1. Hi Zeng Teck! I'm a Sunway University student too! I've been following your blog for about two years now. My favourite of your blog post is the Music Monday segment where you will give an insight of your go-to music list for music lovers to check out the latest hits (or even older ones) to put on their playlist. As they always say "People come and go". We can't change their attitudes but we can change ourselves by forgiving them with an open heart. Have courage and be kind. Even though it's on the bad side at times, we can see it in a different prespective. Congratulations on your completion of university

  2. OMG HELLOOOOO (thanks for the lovely comment and for reading my blog i love ya!) I haven't updated Music Mondayz for a really long time because they have the lowest view and I thought nobody is interested HAHAHAHAHAH but now that I know there's at least one person who likes it I shall continue the series! (It shall be up next Monday)

  3. I can't wait, I'm running out of songs to listen

  4. I love your positive outlook here :) It's nice when you can realise that maybe getting older isn't so bad after all. It means that you're looking forward to what's to come, rather than living in the past and thinking that your best years are behind you (it's part of North American culture that I despise: "prom is the best night of your life! You'll remember it forever!" It's far from the best night of one's life, and I barely remember prom and it's been only seven years). Hooray for looking forward!

    Erin | Explore, Refresh


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