STORYTIME | MY TINDER DATE IS A SCAMMER 🐍

♥

Hey Zengarmy,


Y'all are going to be FUCKING SHOOOOOOOOOOOOK by today's storytime!
First of all, disclaimer, EVERYTHING about this story is REAL except from
the fact that the dating app I was using is NOT Tinder but another *ahem*
less popular dating app, just in case y'all go to the app to harass me after
reading this post (I'm FUCKING prepared hahah!). Also, I'm going to use the
initial of "R" to represent the motherfucker that tries to scam my money but
failed (tragically) because I'm pretty sure R uses fake name to scam around &
has probably changed names for the 261358619th time. I will just save myself
some time and effort by calling R "R". Before I went ahead spilling the TEA, let
me just (slightly) update you guys on what's happened in my life recently, & why
I haven't been as active on this blog as I used to be. So, long story short: (1) I'm in
my third year right now and this bitch is NOT trying to fool around with his CGPA,
(2) I lived in my real life more when I'm not blogging, and (3) my life is just super
boring lately, which consists of me just repeating my daily routine and crying about
how broke and hungry and tired I constantly am — yeap nothing new here. However,
I went to a prom 2 nights ago and it was pretty lit — I've had so much fun that night!

// (swipe left for aesthetics) When you spent an hour trying to edit the pictures to match your feed and tag all the frans (i missed out @leteashapax what tf am i doin) 😞 @Instagram trying to square EVERY pictures when i post in-multiple is RUINING MY AESTHETIC i'm just saying 🖕 Finally, the FIRST prom where I'm not depressed and am allowed to wear smokey eyes to! 💄I've been to A LOT of proms but this is the MOST fun I've had 😭 Designed the event tickets and posters myself (whoop whoop), wore smokey eyes for the first time and NAILED IT (shoutout to @veronicaquah for the moral support), and even got down to the dance floor even though I totally sucked at dancing 💛 I would never trade this night for another in my life! 😭 ps: of course i have to tag @tlismarv in her ugliest freeze pose moment because *in @bretmanrock's voice* we cute or whuteva! (she almost turned me straight but uh-uh i'm still gay as fuck) 😘 #zengstagram

A post shared by ZENG TECK 🔥 センテック (@zengteck) on Aug 25, 2017 at 6:38am PDT

Anyway, that's all the life updates I have for you so let's get back to the real
reason why y'all clicked the link to this post — THE TINDER DATE STORYTIME!



Let's start from the VERY beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've always been feeling very sketchy about online
dating. The fact that you're being judged on a platform via only a few photos
(that are probably photoshopped as fuck) feels superficial to me. And also, it
is a known fact that most dating apps are for hookups & people who just want
to fuck around spreading STDs 💩 Online dating just doesn't appeal to me, until
boredom and curiosity FINALLY struck in a few weeks ago (after I've just finished
my last final exam). So, I downloaded a dating app & matched with a few people
throughout the first few days — it actually made me more bored because I've only
had a decent chat with ONE MATCH (there's not even romantic chemistry between
us), and the rest are just a bunch of SNAILS who used 3 days to reply a "hi". Like,
excuse me but fuck you, bye, and never see you again no thanks 😊 Online dating
is a literal TORTURE for somebody like me who feels anxious if I didn't get a reply
within 24 hours from a chat. After a week of hanging on the edge of hopelessness,
I matched with this really attractive human being called R (which turns out to be
a scam-motherfucking-mer in the end, what a shame). R ticked ALMOST all of the
boxes of what I've envisioned to be my imaginary perfectly-made-in-heaven match,



but here comes the first tip...



If something looks too good to be true,
it is motherfucking too good to be true.



I was definitely aware of the fact that R appears to be too perfect to be true,
but I ain't got nothing to lose (I'm not THAT stupid to send nudes) so I decided
to linger around and see what is up. R claimed to be living in Canada and has
never been to Malaysia before, so we kinda started the conversation with me
trying to be a Geography teacher giving a lesson on Malaysia's climate. At this
point of time, I had already gathered 2 suspicious characteristics about R, in
which: (1) R never turned on the location setting (which means I can't see how
far R was away from me but R can see how far I was away, which is SCARY, now
that I looked back at it), (2) when I asked R about Canada I got ignored and sent
"hi how are you today" as a reply in our next conversation (as if R has forgotten
what we've been chatting about or is actively trying to avoid my question). The
only reason I'm still chatting with R is because there were no any attempts of
sexual requests from R — which is relieving to know, in comparison with a few
horny matches I've had who asked for my nudes. Bitch, the only nudes you are
going to get from me (if you're daring enough to ask for any) is fucking THIS:

( Click HERE to download the original image of this seducing NUDE,
just in case it might become handy when somebody asked for one )



Like tbh I'm TOTALLY going to send this nude to whoever's daring enough to ask
for one, so come at me bruh. It would have been so much fun if R asked for my
nudes but unfortunately that didn't happen. After merely a few days of chatting,
R requested to visit me from Canada. I was honestly dumbfounded. I asked for R's
social media but R claimed to be inactive on social media (hence having none).
I mean... LIKE... HONEY HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING ALL YOUR FUCKING LIFE UNDER
A ROCK OR SOMETHING?? I immediately asked for selfies but it took R a few hours
to send 2 photos... BITCH... YOU ARE FUCKING DONE 😂 Me at this point of time:

Photo credit: Isabella Bubola

The only thing that I gave R by this time is my phone number (for R to "contact me
upon arrival") so I wasn't majorly worried about getting killed or kidnapped by this
date hahahahaha! We chatted for a little bit before R claimed to be hopping onto
a flight arriving Malaysia at 7 a.m. in the morning AND I LITERALLY TOLD ALL OF MY
CLOSE FRIENDS WHO KNEW R'S EXISTENCE THAT IF R IS GOING TO ASK FOR MONEY
FROM MY FUCKING BANK I AM GOING TO EXPOSE THIS FUCKING CUNT ON MY BLOG.



And here we are on this blog now hahahahahah.



So, on the day when everything went down the drain, I received a phone call at
about 9 a.m. in the morning. When I answered the phone, I knew something is
amiss — R's Canadian accent sounded weird AS FUCK. I literally almost laughed
out LOUD when I realized this entire bullshit is a scam, but I decided to play with
R a little bit so that I can have more content for my blog post when I'm writing a
storytime. R went as far in fabricating lies as to actually pass the phone to another
Malay lady who pretended to be some sort of officer TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO PAY
RM450 AS A "DENDA" (English translation: fine) BECAUSE R BROUGHT U.S. DOLLAR
ACROSS THE BORDER. I stayed silent on the phone until the fucking old hag hung
up the phone, and I immediately blocked the number before heading to the app
to report R's fucking account. After that I sat on my bed and created a playlist
on Spotify with all the diss tracks for the exes (shoutout to Taylor Swift yo!):







Me at this point of time inspecting all the
lies R made for wanting RM450 from me:

Also, if you have not followed me on Spotify yet, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing
with your life?? (no i'm totally just kidding but you can click HERE to follow me)
Like, totally no pressure, my Spotify playlists are the bomb dot com or whateva.
I think that's enough TEA to be spilled in today's storytime! 😂 Let me know in the
comments below if you have any similar experiences as me, or if you have any
words of consolation for me to make me feel better. I'll see you in my next one!



♥

          

(CLICK TO FOLLOW ALONG & STAY UPDATED)