YOU ARE NOT FAILURE.

♥

Hey Zengarmy,

I really appreciate each & everyone of you guys,

whether you're my blog readers, my YouTube viewers,

or my followers on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook.

Even to those who didn't follow me at any social media platform

but just randomly bookmark my websites or checking them occasionally,

I THANK YOU SO SOOOOO MUCH.

Having someone to look upon you 
& think that you are an inspiration to them ...

THIS FEELING IS INSANE.

Never in my entire life before this,
would someone call me an "inspiration".
To them, I'm probably just a "freak", "sissy" or "weirdo".
As a teenager, I went through a period of depression,
where I can't find a reason to hold on to my dangling life.
I lost interests in almost everything except music,
and the worst part is : I have to pretend that I'm normal,
just because I'm afraid to being labelled as "mentally ill" person.

And you know what ?
that's exactly what makes me doing blog & YouTube stuff, 
to reach out to people & tell them that THEY ARE NEVER ALONE, EVER.



I'm very glad that my blog posts & videos helped people & inspired people in some ways. 
I grew up as an insecure kid, and I had minor depression & anxiety, 
I know exactly what it feels like to be demotivated & even trying to commit suicide 
( I attempted suicide when I was 15, because I feel like there's no purpose in my life 
besides getting good grades, competing with other ppl & make my family proud, 
I FEEL SICK OF EVERYTHING ). 


What I'm trying to tell you is that : WHERE YOU'RE WEAK, GOD IS STRONG, 
and he sees everything you're going through, even when you're at your worst, 
everything is going to get BETTER, a little bit at a time.

Honestly,
I never thought that people would watch my videos.
People whom I didn't know their names or met them in faces.

I started out my YouTube channel out of boredom & just for fun.
( And probably as a platform to chase after my dream as a musician too )
I knew that I always had a thing with music,
but I'm just too insecure with my unpolished talent & appearance.
I mean ... I'm certainly not the best singer in the world,
and sadly I'm not very dashing & good-looking too :(


*OK damn it I need to stop this negative thinking HAHA*

♥

Not going to lie but, 
the main reason of my production of this video 
is inspired by Michelle Phan's "YOU ARE MORE" video :)

After watching Michelle's video,
it got me thinking a lot about the purpose of living in this world.
GOD CREATED US FOR A REASON.
God always has something for you, 
a key for every problem, a light for every shadow, 
a relief for every sorrow and a plan for every tomorrow.


You may hit hard times. 
You may fall down and feel as though you don't have the strength to get back up. 
I know the feeling, mate. We all do. 
Life isn't always easy, but when we overcome challenges, 
we become stronger and more grateful for our opportunities. 
What really matters are the lives you touch along the way 
and how you finish your journey.


Too often we tell ourselves that :
we aren't smart enough or attractive enough or talented enough to pursue our dreams.
We buy into what others say about us, or we put restrictions on ourselves. 
What's worse is that when you consider yourself unworthy, 
you are putting limits on how God can work through you!


When you give up on your dreams, you put God in a box. 
After all, you are His creation. He made you for a purpose. 
Therefore your life cannot be limited any more than God's love can be contained.


I have a choice. You have a choice. 
We can choose to be bitter, angry or sad. 
We can choose to dwell on disappointments and shortcomings. 
Or when faced with hard times and hurtful people, 
we can choose to learn from the experience and move forward, 
taking responsibility for for our own happiness.



As God's child, you are beautiful and precious, 
worth more than all the diamonds in the world. 
You and I are perfectly suited to be who we were meant to be! 
Respect that! Respect who you are! 
No matter what your circumstances may be, 
as long as you are breathing, you have a contribution to make.


Everyone goes through times when they feel excluded, alienated, or unloved. 
We all have our insecurities. 
Most kids fear they'll be mocked because 
their grades are not good or their eyes are too small. 
Adults fear that they won't be able to pay the bills 
or that they will fail to live up to expectations.
You will face moments of doubt and fear. We all do. 
Feeling down is natural, it is part of being perfectly human. 
Such feelings pose a danger only if you allow negative thoughts to stick around 
instead of just letting it them wash over you.



When you trust that you have blessings - 
talents, knowledge, love - to share with others, 
you will begin the journey to self acceptance even if your gifts are not yet apparent. 
Once you begin that walk, others will find you and walk with you.



♥