I'M OKAY WITH MY CRAZY.

♥

Hey Zengarmy,

I'm going to be totally honest with you guys :

Writing this blog post is the VERY last thing I want to do right now.

I am tired, grumpy, moody, depressed, and feeling like a piece of shit.

I am only writing this now because I haven't updated my blog in a week

and I NEED TO UPDATE IT OR ELSE I WILL FEEL LIKE SHIT AND FAILURE.

If you're new to my blog, HI, my name is Zeng Teck, and I suffer from anxiety.

There's nothing to be ashamed about that, yet sometimes it frustrates me a lot.

Sometimes I put a lot of pressure on myself.

For example, when I'm in a good mood (like today),

I would schedule to do EVERYTHING in one day because I feel like it.

I even made a list for today because I got LOTS OF SHITS TO DO TODAY!

◉ Finish up Psychology Practical Report

◉ Read 3 chapters for Principle of Marketing

◉ Read 2 chapters for Human Physiology

◉ Read 1 chapter for Introduction to Psychology

◉ Pre-film 2 videos for my YouTube channel

◉ Drink water

◉ Pre-write 3 blog posts for my blog

◉ Take pictures for my blog

◉ Read 1 chapter for Amy Poehler's Yes Please

◉ Buy movie tickets for Mockingjay Part 2 premiere

Some of you might think that I'm crazy, and I don't deny that. I'm crazy.

Days like this often went from heaven to hell because at the end of the day,

only will I realize that I am not capable enough to be a productive human being.

And then I feel like shit and failure. Just like today. And many other days.

I originally planned to come up with a super duper fun blog post

that will hopefully earn me another 500 page views on my blog,

but right now I guess I just have to deal with my shitty mood

and write whatever my brain desire to write.

This is somewhat random but, I made a music video on my YouTube channel! YAY!

*CUE MY PARENTS TO CLAP FOR ME*

I thought I would share some of the process of the making of this music video.

I hope you're not bored though. If you are, you can click out of this post. Haha.

Alright. Where should I start? I think I will start with the audio first.

I recorded the audio in a recording studio at my friend, Kelson's school.

He's kind enough to let me barge into the recording room & experience

what it feels like to be a proper, legit recording artist like Ariana Grande.

I wrote a blog post on the first time I stepped into the recording studio,

so you can go and read that by clicking HERE later, hehehehehe.

These are some (only two) of the shots I got from the day I filmed the music video.

If any of you are curious about how I got the idea of filming this video,

I basically got an impromptu vision on the night before I filmed the video,

where I kinda see the image fragments of a person walking alone in crowd.

A person. Walking. And crowd. That was pretty achievable for me kerkerker,

hence I decided to vlog myself walking alone in a shopping mall like a mad man.

A lot of people stared at me, of course, but I don't give a shit hahahaha!

I feel like people REALLY like to stare a lot.

I guess this is just in our human nature to be curious.

Yep. I don't think I have anymore thoughts to blog about right now.

I'm running out of ideas and I'm trying to be honest with you guys.

That's all for now, I literally can't stand typing another sentence

because the moment I published this blog post I knew I'm going to pass out.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeee. Sending lots of love if you're having a bad day.

♥