PERHAPS TOO MUCH ALONE TIME?

♥

Hey Zengarmy,

Hi. It's me. It's me blogging again after 14 days of hiatus!
It's kinda crazy because according to my Blogger analytics,
during the last 14 postless days there's still click activity on
this blog (which means there are still people coming back)
even though no new post is published! If you're one of those
readers who didn't subscribe but came back every once and
a while to check out if there's a new post on this blog, then
THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!!! You know who you are heheheh!

So, in my previous post, which was exactly 14 days ago,
I mentioned that my finals are approaching and there's a
high possibility that I might not be blogging too frequently,
AND WELL, I was only partially correct — I didn't blog at all.
During the last two weeks I was in such a mood that all I was
capable of doing is storing information and storing information.

And hmmm.... what else?
Yes. Storing information.

I basically wasn't in much of a creative mood.

But now that I've sat for my first paper today
and gained some relief (2 more papers to go!),
I think it's finally the time to write another blog post
and kickstart my one-post-a-week routine like I used to!

Today's blog post is inspired by this video by Savannah Brown,
where she talked about the reason behind her social anxiety and
how she has been coping with it so far, which I do find some of her
experiences similar to mine. Now I do want to point out the fact that
social anxiety is not equal to shyness. Shyness can be a part of social
anxiety, but being shy doesn't make you suffer from social anxiety.

I hope this doesn't confuse you.
If so, please take a moment to digest it.

Even though I suffer from anxiety, social anxiety is not a big part
of my anxiety. For most of the days if I was feeling anxious while
walking in public, I can just suppress/ease my anxiety by plugging
in my earphone and bracing through the crowd. Compared to those
who suffer from severe social anxiety that they can't even spend time
outdoors with other people, my social anxiety was considered nothing
next to them. Having said that, lately I've been feeling more and more
uneasy when I need to step outside of my hostel and interact with people
outside of my comfort zone. It was probably due to the fact that I've been
copped up in my studying-for-finals bubble for too long that I feel stressed
when I need to spend effort to talk, engage and communicate with others.

Sometimes I think I love my alone time
a little bit too much than average people.

Just like what is mentioned by Savannah in her video,
I felt the same way too. Ever since I was 9 I felt nothing wrong with
being alone, not in a i'm-already-so-great-don't-talk-to-me style,
but more in no-thanks-i'm-comfortable-in-my-own-company style.
Also, I don't often feel the need to talk, which might be possibly due
to me being afraid to talk to people ➜ eventually giving up on talking
to people ➜ forced to negate the need to talk to people, and so on.

There was once when I didn't mouth a single word for about 3 days,
until I need to head to the grocery store to buy food and stuffs.

That's just how abnormal I am hahahah.
But then the other day when I saw this picture on
my Tumblr I actually laughed out a little bit too loud.

( PS : It wasn't meant to be funny but I'm weird )