Hey Zengarmy,

If you're still here... (analytics tells me you are, which is very comforting), 
as you may be aware, I haven't blogged very much over these few months. 
I haven't got any excuses besides the fact that : 
I appear to have got super busy over the last few months, 
which is AMAZING, EXCITING & also a little bit exhausting.

Things are going to change around here, there will be more posts 
(I know you have heard me say that many times but I have organised my life a lot more) 
and I want to get back into my blog, which was my first internet baby 
(and nobody puts baby in the corner - corny...)

This isn't the typical type of post from me today. 
It's a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into 
(do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).

Let me start by saying that I am 175cm tall and weigh 49kg
and have been the same height and weight for 2 years approx.
Before I hit puberty, I'm pretty sure you would have taken one look at me and said : 
"He is WAY too thin", and let me tell you, I was.
I looked HIDEOUS. I would look in the mirror and despise what I saw.  

 "why do all my bones poke out at every angle?"
 "where are my hips?" "why am I so skinny?"

I absolutely HATED it. I'd also like to point out,
I'm in no way, shape, or any form have ever had an eating disorder,
those of you who know me, will know I eat whatever I like and whenever I like.
Even then, I ate like a normal 14/15 year-old boy.
Pizzas, Burgers, Chips, McDonalds, Fizzy drinks.
I ate no less than the average kid...yet why I was incredibly skinny?
The answer here is simply "Metabolism".
My metabolism is what I'd like to call "super metabolism".
For those of you who don't know what metabolism is,
it's basically a chemical reaction that happens in
all your living organisms to help maintain life,
in non scientific forms, the rate at which
your body burns calories and breaks down fat.
Having a high metabolism means that it is at a stupidly fast rate.
Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this
thinking "Oh Shut Up Zeng Teck, I'd absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism" ...
but let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Whilst going through my teen stages of being a skinny bean pole,
it had seriously affect on the way I saw myself and the way others saw me.
It's pretty stereotypical that the fat kid in class doesn't want to
get into a swimming suit or to be seen getting undressed for P.E,
or getting bullied or called nicknames. I felt exactly the same way.
I hated having to change clothes during P.E.
as people would point and stare at me for being so skinny,
I'd hate having to get undressed and I did get called things
and when I tried to put on weight, it was absolutely impossible.
It also made me feel like crap.  

You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, 
slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, 
but nobody ever really thinks of that.

"Are you anorexic?", "you need to put some weight on", 
"You are a bag of bones", "why are you so boney?", 
"why are you so skinny", "get some meat on your bones",
 "are you okay?"

All these you would kind of expect from curious school children,
but what astonishes me, is that PEOPLE STILL ASK ME THESE THINGS.
People I don't know.
Quite strange as I now have slowly gained some muscles
(I'd rather call it 'meats" hahaha) and I have filled out quite noticeably.
Yet people still think it's okay to say these things ?
Would you say these things to someone who has
noticeably larger than the average person ?

"Are you obese?", "You need to lose weight", 
"You are a big bag of fat", "why are you so fat?", 
"You need to get some meat off those bones of yours", 
"Are you..okay?"

No. You just wouldn't would you ? 
So why is it acceptable to ask a skinny person questions of the same criteria ? 
Do you think it doesn't affect them the same way it would someone who was fat ? 

I hate that we have a BODY MASS INDEX, that we must all live by ? 
Who decides what BMI we should be anyway ? 
Who cares if I'm "slightly" below average, who cares if you're slightly above it ? 
As long as you feel happy in the skin you are in, is that not all that matters ? 
Yes, I may seem skinnier than the average person, but I'm happy at the moment. 
If I put on any weight (which is impossible for me to do anyway),
I'm almost sure it would all just go on my face and bottom. 
If I was to exercise, I'd be even skinnier, 
which as a result, means that I'm incredibly unfit.

There are still things I absolutely hate about my body, and they won't change. 
I hate my hands. Who wants bony, old, veiny hands? haha. 
I also hate my legs (they're like bird legs LOL), 
It's pretty impossible for me to put on weight, but for some reason, 
any weight I do carry, is everywhere BUT my legs. 
Skinny little ankles and shapeless legs anyone ? 
I am however, much more contented with the way I am at the moment. 
I still wish I could be a little bigger, 
but I have the joy of being able to scoff a whole tub of chocolate and not have to worry. 
Trust me though, my skin and organs probably do not appreciate this, and I'm very unhealthy. 

I recently got upset by someone I barely know,
in fact they may as well have been a stranger,
approaching me and saying : "Zeng Teck. you are SO skinny".
For a start...how the hell do you even respond to something like that?
I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth
made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this person's mind?
I eventually just walk away. Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do.
This person then returned to say : "You need to put on some weight on...no seriously".
C'mon? Really? I was firstly very embarassed, and secondly gutted.
Would this person have said the same thing to a fat person? Nope.
Because calling someone fat is seen as an insult,
but calling someone out to be too skinny...is apparently acceptable?
I think commenting on anybody's weight is unacceptable.
Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

"That person is fat, they must eat nothing 
but Mcdonalds and sit on their arse all day"
"That person is skinny, he probably has an eating disorder 
and needs help"

It's really not fair. 
Nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure,medical problems. 
There are thousands of reasons people are how they are, 
and why people are the size they are. 
The above statements may be true in some cases, 
but for the majority, it's probably not.

So, is calling someone skinny really acceptable ? 
Or, do you agree with me that it's just as insensitive as calling someone fat ? 
As a naturally skinny person, 
I can tell you that it's not very nice being called out for being "too skinny", 
especially as I tried so hard to put weight on, 
and wanted so desperately to be "of average size" as I was growing up. 
It's a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address. 
I get a weird amount of people asking my height and weight, 
and a part of me thinks they are trying to suss out if I'm underweight, 
in a very sly and kinda creepy way. 
So now at least I've answered that for you ... weirdos. =)

Moral of the story here though,
is that I don't really think it's ever acceptable
to comment on anybody's weight, either skinny or fat.
Why should you ever be allowed an opinion
on someone else's body or way of life ?
You can think of it in your head, but the minute you
open your mouth it becomes very dangerous,
that is of course unless you are opening your mouth
to give a compliment, by all means do this. haha.
If YOU are happy with the way you look, that's all that matters,
and if you aren't, chances are you doing something about it,
and working towards something you know it will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. 
It would be a very boring place if this wasn't the case.

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