A NEW CHAPTER | ADULTHOOD

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Hey Zengarmy,


I don't exactly know why I'm writing this blog post.
I'm feeling pretty worried right now.
I have this dilemma at the moment where
I'm just freaked out when I suddenly realize that :
I am turning 19 & becoming an adult.


Damn. I never wanted to be an adult.
Most of the people at my age CAN'T WAIT to be adults,
but I guess I'm just different (and a little bit weird).
Call me childish or ignorant or childishly ignorant,
but children get all the privileges that adults don't get.
Don't you agree ???

One of my favorites from last night. When I laugh, you can't see my eyes. #throwback #bts #behindthescenes

A photo posted by Z E N G T E C K ✧ (@zengteck) on Jun 11, 2015 at 6:52pm PDT

Okay. Sorry. This caption actually got NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PICTURE. But I typed these yesterday just after my prom night ended. I guess I'm just not that comfortable when it comes to having eye contact with people, I always feel panic when people talk to me because I HAVE TO LOOK THEM IN THE EYES. Most of my previous anxiety attacks happened when I was attending wedding dinners. I felt stucked & trapped & my throat started to tighten & I wished I could just teleport myself to my bedroom instantly. BUT thank God my anxiety attack didn't occur last night. In the end of the prom night, I was hugged by a few of my friends & their body warmth made me teary. It occurs to me that I may NEVER see them again, but I'm glad that they appeared in my small little boring life to spice things up. Thank you. And all the best. Yours truly, Zeng Teck.

A photo posted by Z E N G T E C K ✧ (@zengteck) on Jun 12, 2015 at 4:55am PDT

So, I graduated from A-Levels. Yay.



It took me some time to get over the fact that A NEW CHAPTER HAS BEGUN.
I get all these weird mixture of feelings when I flicked through the photos
that I've taken with my course mates during the prom night.
I would be feeling GLAD because I've completed A-Levels,
( A-Level is a nightmare, I won't go into details. ) 
but then I would be feeling SAD after feeling glad for 30 seconds.


I'm not exactly sure how am I going to deal with my adulthood, to be honest.
I don't like night clubs, I hate alcohols, I hate cigarettes.
The only point that adulthood appeals to me is that
I get to watch PG-18 rated movies without being judged.



I'm happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.
It's miserable and magical.

Into the unknown, I shall go.

♥